Emergence Into Love: Through The Dark

Here’s to a wonderful day. The sun is shining, it’s light is warm and gorgeously beautiful on my skin as I sit in my office typing away. The birds are singing in chorus outside the window. My husband is working just a few rooms further down the house, and I love hearing his animated discussions on the phone. It feels amazing. I simply cannot stop smiling and feeling silly happy for this life.

And I know this might not be what you feel like reading about, today – someone else’s day when maybe you’re not feeling up in the sky yourself at the moment – but AGAIN, and always, I’m here to remind you – it is an ebb and flow. And when we start to hit more and more of the flow – we are deeply grateful for being out of the dark. Always.

The way towards this moment has NOT been paved with roses. It’s fucking hard getting here. FUCKING HARD.

I’ve cried many times. I’ve felt despair. I’ve wondered, often, if my stubborness in exploring a new path, a new way of living, was in fact mere wishful thinking, a refusal to see the reality of life, a desperate attempt to pretend it’s stark black and white rules weren’t what was right. If my seeking out new companions on this road wasn’t merely a way to seek confirmation and validation from a cult of likeminded reality-evaders.

I’ve felt tantalizing moments of brief pure joy, only to just as quickly tumble down all the way back in the deep dark abyss of stuckness and confusion. Of not feeling able to figure things out.

I’ve had to work to get here. Each and every single day, I’ve had to pick myself up, boost myself up, cling onto my unwavering stubborness and foolishly trust that it would in fact bring me where I felt I could go, where I saw others go. Believe against all odds, all evidence, that it wasn’t a mere fata morgana.

I’m on the other side of it all now, have been for some time, and I am never giving this up – this knowing that another way IS possible. I’ll keep celebrating every single moment of every single day – because that is what it’s about. Being present. Seeing life. Experiencing it, fully. And beyond all of that, I’ll be talking about it relentlessly. Because I have exchanged a few years of EXTREME SUCK against a lifetime of HAPPY. Not superficial, pretend happy. But bone-deep happy. And I want that for you too. If anything, through sharing my words, I’m hoping to strengthen your own sense of possibility, that sense of ‘more’ whispering and calling to you.

The ability to find joy and beauty in every moment.
 The ability to observe myself in my life.
The ability to make adjustments, quickly, without it feeling hard or heavy. 
The ability to know what I want, and know what steps to take to get there.
 The ability to deeply know who I am, my place in this world.
The ability to be in an easy flow with the guidance of my soul. 
The ability to be at peace. 

So, for you, my dear one, if today you are finding it hard to see beyond the dark and heavy clouds.

Gift yourself 5 minutes. To step away from it all. To stand in front of a window, and look at the sky, and seeing yourself and your world from another perspective. To see yourself soaring above it all. Free. Wild. Fabulous. Strong. And to know, to feel, in every cell of your being, that is who you truly are. Not an illusion. Not wishful thinking. YOU.

And when you step back into the current reality of your life, know that it can change. Know that you can bring forward the truth of you, and that everything around you will start responding and reflecting that truth. It is the way of the world. And those 5 minutes? It’s the perfect, non-pressure way to start.

With so much love for you on your journey, Kath

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